||[Apr. 17th, 2008|03:00 pm]
I feel like the only time I post here is when I'm seriously upset. I just need someway to vent and I can't talk to real people. I hate the way I feel right now. I have 31 days left until I graduate, and I feel as though my life is just falling apart. I have a friend whose been angry with me since Sunday. I thought I knew the reason. I was angry to about the way she handled the situation. I sent her a message on Facebook with an apology, and saying basically lets just forget the whole thing. Which I did, since that's just the way I am...I get over stuff and don't let little unimportant things ruin my life and my happiness. She responded saying she was sorry too and it was overly stressed and snapped, but that she was going to be busy the next few days. Me, being the idiot that I apparently am, figure that that's that, and the argument would be dropped and life would go on.
Well I guess I was wrong. The next day at lunch I tried to make polite conversation, inquire about a test she had, ask something about an interest we both share. I'm am treated with coldness and the bare minimum of a response. Since then she has completely ignored me. I sent her a message today about Criminal Minds, since she was the one who started me watching it in the first place and there was a new message last night. I also asked her why she was treating me as though she suddenly hated me. Her response was that she's sorry and its not me, but she needs "TIME ALONE" (caps were her's) and that my "pushing" her was "very bad" and just made things worse.
This really pisses me off. I have said NOTHING beyond hello to her since Monday. She also said that she doesn't want to tell me why she's upset, but if i want to know I can ask someone else to ask her and she'll tell them and then they can tell me. Which I think is the stupidest things I've ever heard. She's causing all this completely bull-shit drama that I really don't want to have to deal with my last month of College. This should be the best time of my life, and yet the past week I've felt absolutely horrible.
This is a person who I considered to be one of my best friends here, and to suddenly be treated in this way is the worst feeling in the world. Its a beautiful day...I should be sitting outside reading a book and enjoying the sunshine. Instead I spent 20 minutes collapsed on my bedroom floor sobbing uncontrollably, and another 20 minutes sitting at my computer with tears streaming down my face as I type this. I hate being like this and I just want it all to be over. This last month of College should be wonderful. I don't want to remember it as one of the worst points in my life. I don't want to spend part of every day in tears.
I don't know what to do. I'm not the kind of person to sit idly by while one of my best friendships disintegrates, but obviously she is. I'm sad, and it hurts.